


Won't You Let Your Red Heart Show?

by Velocity_Owl87



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Captivity, Caretaking, Falling In Love, Forced Bonding, Hopeful Ending, Injury Recovery, Marriage of Convenience, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mildly Dubious Consent, Mpreg, Multi, Parent-Child Relationship, Presumed Dead, Recovery, Slice of Life, Timeline What Timeline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-04-26 23:01:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14412372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Velocity_Owl87/pseuds/Velocity_Owl87
Summary: Captured by slavers, Poe is sure he knows what to expect.  Maybe some roughing up and a situation he has to fight his way out of. He didn't expect to find a presumed dead hero, Bodhi Rook, in the throes of an induced heat and needing help.A badly damaged Bodhi Rook who may or may not be developing feelings from him as well, despite all of the trials and torture he's suffered at the hands of the Empire and now at his predecessor's hands.Neither Poe or Bodhi had expected to be mated and parents. Nor did they expect to eventually move from obligation to love, despite the war raging on outside.





	Won't You Let Your Red Heart Show?

**Author's Note:**

> What can I say? Bodhi is really pretty and he kind of fits the damsel in distress trope. And Poe seems like a guy that would rescue him. So this idea was born between these speculations. Many thanks to Captain_Kiri_Storm for the brainstroming and idea that led to this.  
> Kes Dameron-Pedro Pascal. Yep.

Poe expected this when he had joined up with the Resistance. He had heard the stories, from his mother and then later from his father as a way to keep the memory of the woman they both loved in different ways alive. He knew that this was part and parcel of the game.

Capture, torture, escape and repeat until he was dead, too incapacitated to be of use, or the hostilities ended. He had been trained for that. He knew what to do with that.

What he _hadn’t_ been trained for was to be captured by a Zyggerian slaver and shoved into a dank, stale smelling chamber and told to “Do what he was good for, or else.”

Poe didn’t want to know what the “Or else” entailed. He’d read enough reports from the Empire era to know what that could be. He decided then that he wasn’t going to be stubborn and try to find out what it could be. He was brave, but he wasn’t reckless.

And he was sure that his implant was overdue for a change.

The last thing he needed was to be pregnant with some _cabron_ ’ _s_ baby and get a one way ticket back to Yavin IV. His father could have maybe been pleased by that outcome, but he didn’t want to risk it. He was the best pilot in the Resistance and as much as he’d like children, it wasn’t the time for it.

So he played the meek Yavinese slave and didn’t protest or fight when they shoved him into this dank smelling chamber.

“Hello? Is anyone there?”

It’s a crisp accent, somewhat blurred by the grogginess of sleep. Or drugs. Softened by the note of uncertainty and fear that crept into the words. Rustling of the bedclothes followed and Poe moved closer into the dim room, lit only by one nearly gutted phosphorus lamp. He wondered why that was the case until he saw why the light was so low.

The speaker was a thin, nervous looking man with big, wide, unseeing dark eyes. His hair was long and fell in a tangled heap down his back. He was only wearing a thin brown tunic and when he moved his head in the direction of Poe’s footsteps, Poe couldn’t bite back the cry of surprise that welled up in his throat.

He knew that face. He knew that man. He had heard of him in so many stories. Not just from his parents, but from the General herself.

But how? They were sure he had died on Scarif with all the others. There were no survivors.

So if that was true, why was he looking at a clearly ill and blinded from cryo Bodhi Rook?

“Please! Is someone there? I can’t...I can’t see…”

The heartbreaking whisper was what moved Poe. That and the way that the man- _Bodhi Rook-_ huddled back into the headboard, his face a mask of terror as Poe got closer.

“It’s alright. Shh...Hey, hey, it’s alright. I’m not going to hurt you. I’m not going to hurt you.”

Bodhi Rook’s face relaxed a fraction as he reached out with slender, aristocratic hands and traced the lines of Poe’s face with calloused fingertips. Once he got to feel the planes of his face, Bodhi sighed and slumped in relief.

“I’m going to get you out, okay? You’re going to come with me, okay?”

Bodhi swallowed and his eyes got wider as a spasm wracked his body. A smell of cinnamon and vanilla rose in the air and Poe stiffened. Oh. _Oh._  So that was what they wanted him to do.

Or rather _who_ they wanted him to do.

“Where? Are you Alliance?”

Poe nodded as he knelt on the bed, careful to not overwhelm the cowering man on the bed.

“You could say that. I’ll take you somewhere safe.”

Bodhi sighed in relief, and stroked Poe’s face roughly, almost desperately.

“Do you have a way to do that?”

Poe nodded, trying to not breathe in the warm, fresh scent of Bodhi. He was nearing his heat, Poe could tell. He also understood why he had asked those questions. If they didn’t time it right, Bodhi would be either delirious in heat throes, or in agony. And if Poe mated him, he was going to have to contend with having Bodhi Rook connected to him for the rest of his life and bearing his kits.

Although the idea of it made his dominant side shiver with anticipation, he wasn’t keen on mating someone that had been the catalyst for the fall of the Empire. A someone that should have been, by all intents and purposes, dead. He literally only knew the man through stories and official records! How was he supposed to make such a monumental decision while he was heat stupid?

“How long do we have? I won’t be able to hold out long.”

The last trailed off into a high pitched whine and the scent became overpowering, almost cloying in its intensity. Poe swallowed, tasting vanilla and cinnamon thick on his tongue.

“Two hours. Will that be enough?”

He shouldn’t have said that, yet his mind was no longer his. Heat drunk, he only had one thought in mind: To claim Bodhi Rook. To breed him until he was was full and sure to be carrying one, or two of his kits. He was ripe for it and Poe couldn’t think of any other reason why it would be a bad idea.

Bodhi nodded, his breathing harsh and fast as Poe got closer and kissed him.

It was like tasting heaven, Poe decided as he sought entrance into Bodhi’s mouth, kissing him as if he was going to devour him. He would be kind later. Right now, he had to stake his claim.

Bodhi didn’t mind and only pulled him down, rutting against him in an effort to make Poe speed up the process. Poe slipped a hand down and growled in satisfaction at finding no barrier. Bodhi was soaked and open, waiting for it.

He was more than ready for it and Poe broke the kiss in order to fumble with the trousers that they had left him with. Bodhi himself wasted to time in getting naked and in moments, after smoothing Bodhi’s hair back, he mouthed at the gland and claimed him.

Bodhi gave a broken sob of a cry that turned into a moan when he felt Poe’s teeth break the skin and bite down on the bonding gland, releasing all of the chemicals that would bind them together until death. That moan had Poe’s rational mind shutting down and his body moving at a punishing pace, his only aim being to get Bodhi through the first rush in order to keep him coherent and somewhat cognizant when they took him to the base.

Bodhi took it all, digging his nails and wrapping his legs around Poe as they moved, their bodies sweat slick and moving against each other as easily as if moving through water. Poe groaned as Bodhi took him in deeper, while clutching at him for dear life. As if Poe was a lifeline he was desperately seeking. Maybe he was. Poe didn’t know.

As he knew was that he could feel the ache of anticipation building up in him and he was close, so close. His vision whited out at the closeness as he moved hard against Bodhi, shouting as he came in a rush, falling heavily on top of Bodhi, who moaned and gasped, still not there.

His gasps turned to whines and Poe caught on, He thrust into body while he wrapped his hand around Bodhi’s cock and jerked him off quickly, finally bringing him to completion. Bodhi made that same quiet sobbing sound when he came and clung tight to Poe, not wanting to let him go.

Poe let him, rolling them to the side and closing his eyes as he held Bodhi. His earlier apprehensions gone as they rode the afterglow together. It wasn’t what he had pictured when he had thought of a mating. Of a partner and kits. But he couldn’t deny that it wasn’t a terrible thing either.

It was the best they both could do under the circumstances.

He told himself that when Snap and Finn found them.

It was the best they could do.

~*~*~*~*~

The General wasn’t happy, Poe could tell by the way that her mouth narrowed and her eyes got lighter. But she wasn’t going to say anything to Poe just yet. Not when he was carrying a blanket wrapped, shivering Bodhi Rook into the base.

Her expression changed when she saw exactly who it was that Poe was carrying, getting soft and sad when she saw the clear effects of cryo sickness and the still raw claiming bite on his neck. She touched Bodhi's shoulder lightly, making Bodhi start and burrow into Poe’s chest. His face hidden, he clung onto Poe, who pulled the blanket over him, hiding him even more from view.

“He needs to be looked over. When you can, I need to see you.”

She dismissed them and Poe wasted no time in getting Bodhi to the Medical bay and under Doc Kalonia’s care.

Bodhi cried out when Poe lowered him onto the examination table, not wanting to lose contact with his Alpha. Poe sighed inwardly when that happened, hoping that Doc Kalonia would work her magic and let him slip out while she dealt with him. Clearly that wasn’t going to happen with the way that Bodhi was acting. Poe looked at Kalonia, who shrugged.

“Just stay close. You’ll be able to be separated in a week or two. After your bond settles.”

She explained as she got her equipment ready to examine Bodhi.

Poe nodded and sat down beside his mate, holding Bodhi’s hand and making the other man give a soft sigh or relief.

And make Poe feel utterly awful for his earlier thoughts.

It wasn’t as if Bodhi had asked for any of this. He had been a pawn the moment that they had grabbed him and put him in cryosleep. The only autonomous decision he had made was to not fight Poe during the mating and when Poe had picked him up to carry him out of that slave pen. He was scared, sick, and blind.

And probably pregnant.

Poe had no doubt about it. The heat chemicals they had dosed him with were so strong that he could taste them. Despite the cloying vanilla and cinnamon, there was a faint edge of something metallic that had Poe rinsing his mouth the moment Kalonia had gotten Bodhi relaxed enough to drop off. No doubt they induced fertility and even if it was just once, Poe was sure it had taken.

The look Kalonia gave him when he came back told him he was right.

“I won’t know for sure until I test him, but I’m more than sure you’re going to be a father, Dameron.”

Poe nodded, not quite letting himself feel it just yet.

“Alright. What else is there?”

He asked, knowing he sounded dismissive, but he had to compartmentalise. This wasn’t the time. He needed to know if it really was Bodhi Rook he was mates to. And what damage had been visited on the poor man and what best recourse to fix it.

“It’s a 100% DNA match. This is Bodhi Rook, hero of Scarif. A badly treated version of the man. He’s been in cryosleep for thirty years or so. He desperately needs proper nutrition and care. Especially now that he’s breeding.”

Poe winced at the flat way that it was stated. He knew he would have to face it sooner, rather than later. He wasn’t sure if Jedha Omegas had the short gestation of Yavinese or not. Either way, he needed to get used to the idea of a near helpless mate and kits.

“He’s blind. Will that remain or will it go away?”

Poe asked, hoping that it was just a side effect of the long cryosleep Bodhi had been placed in. He knew it happened and he hoped that was the case. It would be a bitterly cruel blow to Bodhi if he was permanently blind and he found himself praying that it wasn’t so for him.

“Give it two weeks and he should be back to normal. I want him to remain in my care and I want you to come in regularly. He needs you. Probably more than the Alliance does at this point.”

Kalonia’s gaze softened when she looked down at Bodhi and pulled the blanket up under his chin. She smoothed down his tangled, greasy hair down before looking up at Poe.

“He’s been yanked out of his own time. Probably under duress and under terrible conditions.”

She pulled back the blanket to show Poe still pink lines on Bodhi’s shoulders and upper chest, making Poe let out a soft growl. He hadn’t seen them when they had mated and then run off later. He hadn’t been looking for them, he could admit to himself. He had been too heat drunk to think of anything else but to rut Bodhi. And after that, he had been too concerned with escape.

His fists clenched and he wished that he would be able to kill whoever had inflicted those wounds upon Bodhi. They were probably dead now, Poe realised. Died on Hoth. Or Yavin IV. Or even the Death Star. They were lucky they had met their ends years ago, or Poe would have hunted them down.

“He needs kindness. Don’t make him regret trusting you.”

The words were softly spoken, but they were louder than a thunderclap in Poe’s ears.

It was both a warning and an order. Neither of them were something he was going to take lightly.

Even if they left a bitter taste in his mouth.

~*~*~*~*~

The General was leaning against her desk when he came into her office and for once, her thoughts were clear upon her tired face. Looking at her made Poe realise that she wasn’t a young woman and had been fighting in one form or another since she was a teenager. It also made him realise that Bodhi was the same age as her.

“We thought no one had survived Scarif. If it hadn’t been for their sacrifice, there wouldn’t have been any way to destroy the Death Star. Luke took the shot due to the blueprints his team risked everything to get.”

She covered her mouth with her hand and shook her head.

“We owe him so much. More than words can say, really.”

She looked at Poe.

“And what did he get in return? Being enslaved and used as breeding stock. Has Kalonia confirmed it?”

Poe nodded, feeling as if his tongue was too clumsy to speak. She closed her eyes.

“How much longer until the bond settles and he’s stable?”

Poe swallowed hard.

“Two weeks. Everything will go back to normal then. His eyesight, the bond.”

Poe replied, resisting the urge to pleat the fabric of his jacket between nervous fingers as he waited for the General to decide her next course of action.

“Black Squadron can handle anything. Wexley can take over. Your job is to stay with Bodhi Rook and keep him happy and comfortable. It’s the least we can do for him after all he gave up for the Resistance.”

Poe nodded and felt an odd sense of relief at his orders. He had been expecting a reprimand, maybe a dressing down.

He got neither and he understood that there was no point in the general doing so.

The damage had been done, unwittingly or not. It was up to him to fix it.

Poe hoped he would be able to.

~*~*~*~*~

He hoped that he didn’t wake Kes up for calling at this time. He was usually good with the time differences between planets, but he had to admit that he was shaken and upset and unsure and needed his _Apa_. Yes, he was grown man, but once in awhile, he needed to hear his father’s take on the events he was facing day to day. He may not have needed the advice, but he did want it.

Especially now.

His father didn’t look like he had been sleeping, but he didn’t look quite awake either, judging by the large mug of probably over sweetened caf he had by his elbow.

“ _Mijo_! This is certainly a surprise! What’s happened?”

Poe winced and made a mental note to call up his father more often than just when he was having difficulties. Or wanted to vent. He owed his dad that much.

“I got captured.”

Kes blinked at him, leaning forward to examine his son closely.

“Nothing happened to me, _Apa._ I’m okay. Just shaken up. I’m calling you because I, ah, I’ve got a mate. And they’re more than likely pregnant with my kits.”

Kes took a deep breath, nodding to himself. He sat back and scrubbed his face with his hands roughly. He took a drink of the caf and swallowed before he spoke again.

“I don’t know what you want me to say, _mijo._ You’re old enough to have a family. As long as they’re a good person, I don’t see why it’s a problem.”

Poe sagged a bit in relief, glad that his father had calmly accepted the news.

“I _think_ they’re a good person. They were in the battle of Scarif.”

Kes started at that bit of information. “Exactly how old are they? In fact, who are they? You’re not thinking of mating the General, are you?”

Poe let out a surprised bark of laughter at that.

“No. I think she’d kill me if I ever brought it up. No. It’s a bit more complicated than that. I, ah, was captured and put in a room with a Jedhite.”

Kes swore then, something that he’d always refused to tell Poe the meaning of.

Poe swallowed, since he too, was all too aware of how bad things looked. Jedha had survived after the city’s loss. It had been partially rebuilt and it was somewhat thriving despite being utterly secretive and sort of cut off from the New Republic.

Particularly since some of the percentage of the Jedha population had a similar biological make up to the Stewjoni. It was a large enough percentage that it had made the rest of the galaxy wonder about it. But so far, no Jedhites had been bred like Stewjoni and Yavinese had.

Poe had to smile grimly at that. Out of all people, he had been lucky or unlucky enough to come across what was a near mythical being, so it seemed.

“The only person from Jedha that would fit all the cryptic clues you’re giving me is Bodhi Rook. Who is dead, along with the Rogue One squad.”

Kes’ face went pale enough through the blue of the hologram and he had to grip the table in order to not fall onto the floor in shock.

“You’re mated to _Bodhi Rook_? As in cargo pilot for the Empire, defector, hero of Scarif, should be dead, Bodhi Rook?”

Poe nodded and Kes swore again, this time blisteringly enough to make Poe wince.

“Was he in cryostatis or something?”

Poe nodded again, smoothing his hair down in nervousness.

“The same slavers that captured me got him, somehow and induced a heat cycle. I had to mate him or else he was going to be a mess. Well, a bigger mess. He’s sick and blind and has no clue what year it is or where he is.”

Kes was silent for a few moments, drinking his caf before he addressed his son.

“What do you want me to say in regards to this, Poe? I am at a loss in regards to this. Bodhi Rook got a karked hand dealt to him. It was easy to sit and judge his actions from a safe distance. At least he took a stance before it was too late. At the end of the day, he did the right thing in the end despite the terrible cost he paid.”

He paused and ran his hand through his hair in a mirror gesture of his son.

Poe knew that his father had a lot more sympathy for Rook than others did. He knew what it was like to grow up with very little options and to take any way out. It was easy for those in the Senate and those that had a family name and connections. They could always find somewhere soft to land. But not Yavinese or Jedhites or those from Tatooine. His father always defended Rook and Poe was all too aware he was making the decision to stay with Bodhi even before he was fully aware of it. He just needed the confirmation that came in the voice of Kes Dameron to figure it out completely, something he had just done after his father’s assessment of Rook.

“So if you’re asking permission to be with him, I’ll give it. After all, he’s the mother of my future grandkits. If you’re telling me that this is a mistake and that you want to leave him pregnant and alone in a world he doesn’t understand...Then your mother and I really kriffed up in raising you.”

Poe winced at the bluntness, but didn’t object to it. He needed to hear it, despite that exact same sentiment having being a brief, ugly thought in the back of his mind, that it wasn’t the right thing to do. He knew he didn’t love Bodhi. Kark, he wasn’t even sure if Bodhi could love him, after the gratitude and real world came knocking. He didn’t know if he could, if he was honest. It had been a mating of convenience and now, they both had to lie in the beds they had made.

“Thanks, _Apa._ I needed the reality check. Even though I wouldn’t ever walk away, the thought crept in. Especially after being grounded until Bodhi got better from his illnesses.”

Kes blew out a breath and smiled at his son.

“It won’t be easy, Poe. Even when he is strong enough to stand on his own, there may be complications. Just be patient with him. He wasn’t exactly normal once Saw got him with a Bor Gullet.”

Poe gagged at the information, but it made more sense as to why Bodhi was shaky and clingy and easily startled in his helpless state. It was another burden he could have done without, but he would shoulder it, no matter what. He had to.

He was the only lifeline the poor man had, if he was honest. Everyone Rook knew was dead. The old guard was dead or retired. There wasn’t anyone that would vouch for him at the least and take care of him at the most. Not when another war was looming so close.

“Thanks for that. If I need can I-”

Kes waved a hand, cutting off his son.

“I have more than enough room here if and only _if_ he agrees to come. If I found out otherwise, I can still contact the General, you know that.”

It was said in a deceptively mild tone, but Poe knew better than to even doubt that his father meant every word. Not that he would test the theory, but that was how his father operated, by letting him know exactly what was at stake,

“I know, _Apa._ I know. Just like you know what I’m going to do next.”

Kes trilled an agreement, making Poe do the same before they exchanged good byes and signed off.

He had a mate to check up on.

~*~*~*~*~

Bodhi was terrified once he woke up and registered the smell of antiseptic thick and strong in the air. He knew what was going to come next. Already, he could feel the numb bite of a well honed blade that would only burst into agony as soon as the blood welled up. He cringed and tried to hide under the thick blanket that was covering him.

He blinked rapidly and curled up on his side, hoping that today, maybe today, they’d miss him.

Give him a reprieve to heal the last flurry of cuts and bruises they had visited on him.

His hopes were dashed when he heard the footsteps ( _two sets of them_ ) come closer to his bed. He shook and trembled in nearly sick with fear and anticipation. So it was going to happen then. He would be cut to ribbons again. Probably even gutted open, as they had loved to taunt him with.

He whimpered and shut his blind eyes tight against the onslaught. He needed to hide from this. He had to desperately get away. He wouldn’t be able to take it. He knew that he hadn’t ever been right since the Bor Gullet. The sessions from the Empire’s finest torture masters hadn’t helped matters either.

He tried to find the thread to get out. To leave it behind so he’d be able to deal with the aftermath later. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t. It kept slipping away further and further from him. His concentration snapped when he felt a presence hovering over him and he yelped when a soft hand landed on his shoulder.

He started to scramble away from the touch, his body shaking from the effort. He moaned and he was aware of the fear induced tears flowing down his face. They would do worse to him today, he knew. They hated hearing him cry. Yet he couldn’t hold back. Not today.

He cringed when he heard the swearing. Something he hadn’t ever heard before. It wasn’t Basic. He understood that much. No. It was something musical that didn’t sound brash or harsh, despite the anger he could hear in the inflections. Anger that wasn’t, thankfully, aimed at him.

“Bodhi...Bodhi...It’s alright. It’s alright. It’s me. Poe, your mate, remember?”

It took a few tries for him to recall who Poe exactly was. He remembered the name whispered to him sometime in the aftermath of the mating. Or maybe during the chaos that had been their exit from the chamber. He wasn’t sure.

“Poe?”

He whispered, his voice a soft exhalation that Poe himself heard.

“It’s me. You don’t have to be afraid. No one will hurt you here. No one will.”

Poe murmured, gently enfolding Bodhi into an embrace and nosing at the bite mark on his gland.

Bodhi whimpered and felt himself go lax with relief the moment that the scent of caf and chocolate hit his nose. He knew this scent. He knew Poe was right and that Poe wasn’t lying.

He was safe. No one would hurt him here.

Poe would make sure of it.

So he closed his eyes and let Poe soothe him until he had worn himself out again.

~*~*~*~*~

Bodhi found himself frowning, squinting at the label of the nutritional supplement drink that the lady doctor had pressed upon him. He could sense Poe’s amusement at the sight, since Bodhi’s eyesight wasn’t quite to snuff yet. It was better than the first couple of days he had woken up in near panic, but it wasn’t completely healed yet.

Both Poe and the Doctor had assured him it was only a matter of time before it would come back completely. He was impatient, but he understood. After being blind for the better part of two weeks, he was glad to get some sight back. Even if he did have to squint at most things.

At least Poe had proven patient enough, sitting with him, taking him out for walks, talking to him and even sharing his bed when the nights proved far too terrifying for him to face alone. He was still scared of the Bor Gullet and the torture and the possibility of the Empire coming back. He felt helpless and weak and relied on the good will of Leia Organa, now General Organa and Poe to see him through the days.

They had, in a combined effort, gotten him access to the pension that all fighters had received. Bodhi was also positive that Lei-General Organa had supplemented it with her own fortune, leaving him richer than he could have ever dreamed as a rag-clad child in Jedha. He was relieved to know of this, since he had also become uncomfortably aware of the three passengers that the earlier coupling with Poe had created,

He was sick. So sick now that he was nearly a month in. He couldn’t keep much down and was back again in the medical centre with Poe hovering over him. He was surprised that Poe was still around, since he had seen the suit and the ranks he held from the holonet, which was far more extensive than it had been on Jedha and the days of the Empire. Something he still hadn’t gotten used to.

He understood everything, once Poe and the General and some of the other remnants of the Rebellion had spoken to him once his eyesight had returned. He knew why they had waited, since he was so disoriented from being blind, he wouldn’t have believed it. Especially not after the after effects of all he had gone through before and after Scarif.

He had asked, the night before, as he and Poe lay in their bed together, with Bodhi clinging to him for dear life.

“Why aren’t you flying? Don’t you have a squadron?”

Poe had chewed on his bottom lip at the question and Bodhi found himself enthralled by the sight, since Poe hadn’t really kissed him after several quick matings after the first brutal claiming one had happened.

Or when he had had a few terrible nights and needed more than just an embrace to calm him down. Poe had obliged, but Bodhi hadn’t the slightest as to what the look that had crossed his face after those sessions meant and he was too afraid to pry. He couldn’t risk the bitter disappointment that would come after. So he let it lie, despite occasionally replaying it when Poe was deeply asleep.

“I was on leave for two weeks, to help you out. I asked for an extension. There’s no way that I’d leave you at a time like this.”

Poe had replied, pulling Bodhi close enough so that their warmth was shared and Bodhi was painfully aware of the closeness. A closeness that he wanted desperately to last and to have more of. A closeness he wanted to know would last. But he didn’t ask for it. _He couldn’t_.

They hadn’t been as physically close since their mating and Bodhi wasn’t sure how he would react if anything was to happen. If Poe noticed Bodhi’s slight awkwardness, he didn’t comment and only shut his eyes to sleep. Bodhi himself remained aware of it, not sure if he really enjoyed the closeness and intimacy or not. He was sure he did like the warmth, though.

So despite feeling vaguely guilty about keeping Poe grounded, he relished the attention as well. Something that had been lacking in his life for far too long. Even if this was attention and protection borne out of an accidental mating, Bodhi cherished it, especially since he could _feel_ the true intent behind it. Poe, despite whatever faults he may have had, was fundamentally honest.

He my not have been in love with Bodhi, but he did have a fondness for him. A fondness that Bodhi, after a few sessions with the lady doctor, had managed to recognize as being one he returned. He found that he _liked_ Poe. Just like he liked Rose and Rey. Possibly even more, if he was honest.

Poe was funny and made him laugh. He had made the effort to take him out to see his X-Wing and had helped him into the cockpit. He understood Bodhi’s need to fly and gave him his old school manuals for him to pore over when Poe was needed at tactical meetings or training.

He also was also very patient with his skepticism over the supplements the lady doctor wanted him to drink. Bodhi knew he would in the end. Yet he couldn’t help but to whine a little about them. Especially after spending some twenty minutes kneeling over the toilet with Poe holding his hair back and rubbing circles on his back to soothe him.

“Did you find what you’re looking for yet?”

Poe asked, a teasing edge to his words as he watched Bodhi read the ingredient list on the can again. The kettle in the corner burbled happily away in preparation for the mint tea that Poe made for him. It wasn’t as effective as ginger was, but Bodhi found himself responding and craving it. So Poe had made it part of the routine as he waited for Bodhi to finish his futile task and drink down his breakfast, more or less.

Bodhi made a face in his direction before gulping the whole thing in one go. Well, as close as he could get without taking too many breaks. The consistency was near pasty and chalky and had, in the beginning, made Bodhi miserable and need to lie down with Poe rubbing his belly until he was sure he wasn’t going to be sick.

It still made him lie still and not do much of anything, but at least the mint tea and Poe’s hand rubbing his belly made it easier to take.

“No. I’m not sure what they add to make it so awful. I feel like I’m drinking glue.”

Bodhi complainer, throwing the empty can into the bin and lying down on his side, clamping his mouth shut and breathing slowly. He rubbed his slightly swollen abdomen slowly, hoping that would ease the discomfort of having the nutrient drink in his stomach. It was old news, but it never got easier and Bodhi once again prayed to whatever deity was out there that he’d get over this phase soon. He knew, despite the resistance, that he needed everything that the doctor gave him. He hadn’t exactly been well fed most of his life and the torture and cryosleep hadn’t helped in that department.

And now with the kits in his belly, he needed to be as healthy as possible. Particularly if he wanted to survive the birth. Poe had gone quiet and grim after that session with the doctor, needing to excuse himself after the consultation was over.

It was then, Bodhi recalled, that Poe had requested tea, softer blankets, better robes and toiletries for Bodhi. Data pads and flimsi books he had found somewhere. Holodramas. Small presents, but presents that Bodhi appreciated nonetheless. They made his days easier to bear and the starkness of the medical bay recede even more.

He sometimes wondered if he was doing it for the sake of their children, whom he referred to as kits and would do the purring thing for. Or if he did it to make Bodhi himself comfortable He pushed those thoughts away when Poe caught him inching closer whenever he purred and did it for him more often than not. It relaxed Bodhi and he found himself falling asleep to the vibrations more often than not.

“Here. I put some honey in it this time.”

He looked up at Poe, who was holding the mug of mint tea that he had been craving and waiting for. Sitting up, he took it once he was situated and cradled it between his hands. He was cold and the warmth helped his hands. He leeched the heat off and hummed in contentment as Poe carefully got into bed with him to warm him up and also touch him.

The bond was nearly settled and Bodhi was positive that Poe knew that, but he wasn’t going to say anything. Not when he desperately craved the way that Poe would snuggle him from behind, his hand played over his abdomen. Or how he would gently unsnarl his hair and tie for him. How patiently he’d run his fingers through the length of it, humming softly as Bodhi sat pressed up against him.

Those were the times that Bodhi knew he was in love. Or could be. He didn’t delve into it too deeply. Not when he knew that it would end when Poe would be recalled back to the front.

He knew how Rebellions went. He had been part of the previous one that birthed this present one.

He also was aware of how pilots with Poe’s skill were needed. He would have offered his own services, if he hadn’t been so gaunt and ill and pregnant.

It had been just an idea that he hadn’t dared voice. Not when Poe got that crease between his eyebrows and his mouth pressed into a thin line whenever he touched the hollows still between his ribs. They were going away, but they still worried Poe. So Bodhi remained quiet.

And watched and waited for the day to come.

Despite his preparation, it still took him off guard when Poe came to him, wearing his flight suit and a grave expression on his face.

“I have to go.”

Bodhi closed his eyes briefly, but didn’t cry. He knew that it was going to come, this day. He didn’t want for it to be harder than it had to be.

“I know. I was waiting for this day to come.”

Bodhi explained, sitting up slowly, the process being a bit more difficult now that he was in his third month.

Poe bit his lip, looked away as if he was contemplating something and turned back to Bodhi.

“Rose has instructions to take you to Yavin IV if things don’t go well. My father knows to expect you.”

Bodhi’s grip tightened on his blankets. He knew that was coming, since Poe had spoken of Yavin IV, his father, and his ranch. He didn’t know if he could stand it, but if it had been Poe’s home, it would be safe. So he could try. Maybe he’d stop being so cold.

“If I don’t make it...At least my father and Rose will be there.”

Bodhi turned his face away at that statement. He couldn’t refute it. He knew all too well casualties happened. Hell, he should have been one. Jyn, Cassian, Chirrut, Baize, K9, Galen...They were long dead and Bodhi still recalled their faces when they headed to Scarif.

He also knew that he had to say it before Poe left and Bodhi remained with his regrets.

“I love you. Deeply. I wanted to let you know.”

It wasn’t as elegant as he had practised saying it in his head. He should have practised it more, maybe ran it by Rose, but he couldn’t wait. Not when Poe looked like he was going to leave.

Poe’s face broke out in a smile that made Bodhi feel as if he was being blinded by a supernova and for once, he didn’t feel cold.

Especially not when Poe swept him up in and embrace and kissed him.

It wasn’t a long kiss, but it was all that Bodhi had ever dreamed of: Passionate, slow, and holding promises of so much more to follow.

“I hoped. I really did and to know it’s true...It’s amazing. I love you.”

Poe murmured, kissing Bodhi again before regretfully pulling away.

“Remember. Yavin IV.”

Bodhi nodded, his throat thick with too many emotions for him to speak as he then watched Poe walk away.

~*~*~*~

Just as he had expected, Yavin IV was _hot._

So much different than Jedha and the base and he hated that he had to stay in the shade and drink so much water lest he risk heat stroke. Kes had saved him making that mistake and had insisted on him doing his weaving or sewing on the porch.

It wasn’t as if he could really help in the field or with the droids. He was close. Kes and the medic estimated a week or two more. So he was on the porch, drinking that dark red, sweet and tart juice Kes seemed to make loads of and sewed, watching the road.

They hadn’t had any reports of the battle. No casualties list had been released and Kes and Bodhi never spoke of their hopes or worries. They carried life on as usual as it went on a ranch.

He cooked when he was able, teaching them how to make the kebabs and the flatbreads and salads of Jedha. Kes picked it up quickly and made the dishes when he could see Bodhi was getting melancholic.

Like his son, Kes could easily read when Bodhi was upset or melancholy, and did his best to comfort him. Food being one of the things that helped. The other was sewing and making things for the babies in complicated and colourful patterns from Jedha.

Kes got him the supplies and set him up on the porch before he went to his herd or to the garage with Rose, who had become a quiet, but cheerful part of the household.

For the most part, that was, since she too, watched the road.

Bodhi could guess at who she was waiting for and hoped that he’d also come.

But it had been almost three months of radio silence. He had guessed that the battle had been somewhat successful. Yavin IV had yet to see Troopers arrive.

It was a fear of his, to see this planet become the same occupied hellhole as his homeworld and he hoped and prayed his children wouldn’t grow up in a similar world. In similar circumstances of no father and no clue how he was going to provide for them.

He pushed the thoughts out of his head. It was different. Poe would come back. Finn would come back. He was sure of it.

But he didn’t want to risk it, so he sewed and waited.

He was working on a hem when he heard the speeder driving up the road and shouted for Kes and Rose.

He didn’t know who it was, but he knew that he couldn’t face them alone. Not with how big and ungainly he was with the babies inside him.

He awkwardly stood up and watched as the speeder stopped a little ways from the house and two figures clad in somber browns and greys got out and made their way to the house.

“Who are they?”

Kes asked as he shouldered the blaster rifle. Rose did the same. They couldn’t take the risk, so they kept the blasters trained on the two strangers, who burst into a dead run, the first one reaching the porch first.

He shouted something that somehow Kes recognised and he lowered his gun to run and meet him.

Rose looked at Bodhi, who only shrugged. He didn’t know who it could have been either.

At least not until Kes led this new man to the porch that Bodhi finally realised who it was.

His hair was gone. He was thin and had barely healed contusions and bruises over his face, but it was him. It was his Poe.

He only had eyes for Poe and didn’t register Rose screaming with joy and running off to meet the other person. Poe was here. Nothing else mattered.

Poe was back and Bodhi couldn’t have been more stunned.

His Poe was walking up to the porch and smiling at him, those warm caf eyes crinkling in joy at seeing him.

Bodhi gasped, his hand going to his mouth as the tears slipped down his face in cascades.

It was Poe. His Poe that was pulling him into an embrace and kissing him fiercely.

A kiss that tasted like saltwater and hope and love to Bodhi.

“I came back.”

Bodhi smiled through his tears.

“You did. You came back to me.”

 


End file.
